4. Each character thought they had a very clear notion of who they were entering college. How did each grow and change during college and what impact did their unique friendships have on each other? How did you grow and change during college?
5. On page 119, Sally feels her friends have not celebrated her engagement enough and she remarks “The real sting in it came from the fact that the same women who had counseled her through her grief for four years at college wanted nothing to do with her joy. Perhaps it took more to feel truly happy for a friend than it did to feel sympathy for her.” Do you think Sally is right, or do you think other emotions are at play for her friends?
6. When Bree and Lara visit Lara's boss's house, they meet Nora and Roseanna and their son, Dylan. Bree seems to find them ridiculous while Lara embraces their lifestyle. How does this incident speak to their roles in their relationship and how does Bree's family situation color her perceptions of this afternoon?
4. I really liked the aspect of the friendships in the book, as we have talked a bit about before. They had a very strong friendship as a foursome, but I also liked that they broke off into pairs as well. So there were two dynamics in there. For sure each of them grew in college. (Having a hard time remembering their names here...sorry if I mess up). Bree clearly changed drastically, and touching on what you said earlier Naomi, it is interesting that she was in this amazing relationship with a woman, but felt that she would go right back to men if/when they broke up...which she sort of did, in failed attempts and then back with Lara. Clearly she did not expect that to happen upon coming to college. Sally started school at such a traumatic time in her life, so for her, it was probably about growing and getting her life back, which the girls clearly helped her with. Celia...not sure what to say there, anyone else? April, I think she grew as she planned, more and more into the radical feminist movement, and she was finally at a place where she could embrace all that she wanted to.
ReplyDelete5. I don't think that her friends were not happy for her, but rather they did not understand, and for them, they were loosing her to her new husband. Also, April and Bree did not really ever plan to enter a male/female marriage, so to them...it seemed antiquated and something from another decade. But as we talked about earlier as well, isn't the point of feminism to have choices? That we can do what we want...and we should have the options to do it all?
6. I found the whole scene at the boss's house a bit comical, as I had watched a show once on parents who parent "gender neutral" but it seems at times that means more so giving boys girls toys and I won't say pushing it, but kind of, if that makes any sense. Clearly Lara was 100% committed and Bree was not, she was in love with Lara, but not everything about what it brought, including the strife with her family. I love when her mother later on says that "she should have forced it a bit more" to make Lara be welcomed at home. It was a good reminder to stand up for what you believe in. Hard...but sometimes needs to be done.
Hope this all makes sense, I am typing as I would speak...like we are at a table together. Can't wait to read what you all think!
4. I think Bree changed the most during her years at college- she went into her freshman year engaged and ready to settle down with a boy her parents approved of, and came out with a girlfriend and estranged from her family. I liked reading her journey and the fact that she evenutally did what she wanted to do despite her parents' disapproval. Although it might not seem like it to those who know me well, but I really have a hard time doing things that I think my parents would disapprove of. I'm in my 30s and still feel like a little kid who needs their permission- it's crazy. So I admired Bree's journey in that respect.
ReplyDelete5. I thought Sally was right- I think her friends had a really hard time just being happy for her and non-judgemental. And a lot of times I'll admit I can be the same way.
6. I found their parenting style kind of ridiculous too. Bree is just more of a traditional, conservative girl who happens to be in love with a woman, where Lara is definitely a lesbian who embraces that whole culture.
Ok ladies, just wanted to chime in that I still have one more segment of questions, I did not get them up spaced how I had planned...so going to wait until the morning and post those. Then we can comment on all three throughout the day tomorrow and finish our meeting.
ReplyDeleteI will post a pic of my perm and braces... Seriously, I had a perm for ten years.. TERRIBLE.. Also, I changed into a completely different person in college.. I was not outgoing at all in highschool and then in college, some switch went off and I became social:) More to come with the answers...
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