There's a part in the book where April and Bree (I think, or maybe it was Celia) are having a discussion about Sally and her decision to follow a more traditional path of marriage and motherhood. April is appalled that Sally would choose this when feminists have fought so hard so that she didn't have to- but Bree points out that feminism is all about choices and Sally has the right to choose what she wants to choose. I liked that.
I know discussions on this topic can get nasty fast and I hope I am not going to offend anyone-I hate stirring up controversy and that is not my intent. BUT since we've all agreed to just put ourselves out there in this group and not "judge", here goes...
I think the ideal of feminism is good- if you take it by the definition that women should have choices- and not be denied the opportunity to try just based on their gender. However, the very definition of "choices" means you have to CHOOSE- you can't have it all. I think if you are going to have kids, you need to raise them. And I don't mean every woman has to be a stay at home mom. But I don't think it's right for a woman to have kids and a career where she sees her kids only in their pajamas (when they wake up and go to bed). I think feminism has stolen a lot of the pride and self-worth that women should have about motherhood. Personally, I feel lucky that I never desired the big career and I never once struggled with the decision to quit my job (I couldn't get out of there fast enough!), but I know a lot of women do.
And then there's the flip side- I read several blogs of working moms who would give anything to be able to stay at home with their kids, but financially just can't. This breaks my heart the most. Is this feminism's doing? Has the pendullum (sp?) swung so far the other way that women now don't have the choice to leave their careers that generations before them fought so hard for the to have?
I read this on my phone when I first woke up, and had to race to my computer to respond. I now check this blog like I do my email, first thing in the morning, just to get a feel for what I missed while I sleep. Oh this is so fun!!!
First off, I had a thought, I too am always worried about offending anyone, but really, isin't the world made up of people with different opinions? As in, it is ok for one of us to think one way about feminism, and another to think a different way, it would be unrealistic to think that we all would view these controversial topics exactally the same. So bravo for posting what you really think Elizabeth, I am going to try and answer back just as open and honest.
I happen to agree. I think feminism is about choices and I applaud the people before me who fought hard for me to be able to be anything I want, so that my children may be president some day, but I have to admit, the heavy feminism tones and activism of April was my least favorite part in the book. It was heartbreaking to read about the stories she was fighting against, because I do not really know much about the plight of women still today, but I tended to skim and think, really? come on now? And I thought Ronnie was a nut.
One quote that I read a few times, was from Celia's mother, who said that feminism gave her the chance to be that VP, but who does 90% of the work at home? Even though she is an equal breadwinner, she is still responsible at home, and so really, whose quality of life was better? (Sorry for the paraphrase, I don't have the book in front of me). I found this so true. I agree with Elizabeth and Esperanza's post as well, I don't think we can have it all. Well we can, but something will have to give, so hence not having IT ALL. But on the flip side, stopping work and staying home, things were given up there too (mainly extra income, but also I sort of miss my desk at work...ok I miss it a lot.) And then I could go into the fact that I think feminism divides women, because it is a hot topic, and people have a hard time seeing the other side of the opinion, and once again, what has that done, just divided our gender, and really, if we stood together as women, we may all be stronger.
(PS, please ingore any typos, using Internet Explorer here at my parents and it does not spell check for you...please don't think I am dumb, I'm just not a good speller and I live by my spell check!!!)
I find it ironic that Ronnie's life's mission was to fight for better treatment of women, yet there she was treating April, a woman, like absolute crap.
There's a part in the book where April and Bree (I think, or maybe it was Celia) are having a discussion about Sally and her decision to follow a more traditional path of marriage and motherhood. April is appalled that Sally would choose this when feminists have fought so hard so that she didn't have to- but Bree points out that feminism is all about choices and Sally has the right to choose what she wants to choose. I liked that.
ReplyDeleteI know discussions on this topic can get nasty fast and I hope I am not going to offend anyone-I hate stirring up controversy and that is not my intent. BUT since we've all agreed to just put ourselves out there in this group and not "judge", here goes...
I think the ideal of feminism is good- if you take it by the definition that women should have choices- and not be denied the opportunity to try just based on their gender. However, the very definition of "choices" means you have to CHOOSE- you can't have it all. I think if you are going to have kids, you need to raise them. And I don't mean every woman has to be a stay at home mom. But I don't think it's right for a woman to have kids and a career where she sees her kids only in their pajamas (when they wake up and go to bed). I think feminism has stolen a lot of the pride and self-worth that women should have about motherhood. Personally, I feel lucky that I never desired the big career and I never once struggled with the decision to quit my job (I couldn't get out of there fast enough!), but I know a lot of women do.
And then there's the flip side- I read several blogs of working moms who would give anything to be able to stay at home with their kids, but financially just can't. This breaks my heart the most. Is this feminism's doing? Has the pendullum (sp?) swung so far the other way that women now don't have the choice to leave their careers that generations before them fought so hard for the to have?
This is a great post on feminism by one of my favorite bloggers:
ReplyDeletehttp://esperanzasays.wordpress.com/2011/03/04/confessional-fridays-im-frustrated-with-feminism/
I read this on my phone when I first woke up, and had to race to my computer to respond. I now check this blog like I do my email, first thing in the morning, just to get a feel for what I missed while I sleep. Oh this is so fun!!!
ReplyDeleteFirst off, I had a thought, I too am always worried about offending anyone, but really, isin't the world made up of people with different opinions? As in, it is ok for one of us to think one way about feminism, and another to think a different way, it would be unrealistic to think that we all would view these controversial topics exactally the same. So bravo for posting what you really think Elizabeth, I am going to try and answer back just as open and honest.
I happen to agree. I think feminism is about choices and I applaud the people before me who fought hard for me to be able to be anything I want, so that my children may be president some day, but I have to admit, the heavy feminism tones and activism of April was my least favorite part in the book. It was heartbreaking to read about the stories she was fighting against, because I do not really know much about the plight of women still today, but I tended to skim and think, really? come on now? And I thought Ronnie was a nut.
One quote that I read a few times, was from Celia's mother, who said that feminism gave her the chance to be that VP, but who does 90% of the work at home? Even though she is an equal breadwinner, she is still responsible at home, and so really, whose quality of life was better? (Sorry for the paraphrase, I don't have the book in front of me). I found this so true. I agree with Elizabeth and Esperanza's post as well, I don't think we can have it all. Well we can, but something will have to give, so hence not having IT ALL. But on the flip side, stopping work and staying home, things were given up there too (mainly extra income, but also I sort of miss my desk at work...ok I miss it a lot.) And then I could go into the fact that I think feminism divides women, because it is a hot topic, and people have a hard time seeing the other side of the opinion, and once again, what has that done, just divided our gender, and really, if we stood together as women, we may all be stronger.
(PS, please ingore any typos, using Internet Explorer here at my parents and it does not spell check for you...please don't think I am dumb, I'm just not a good speller and I live by my spell check!!!)
I find it ironic that Ronnie's life's mission was to fight for better treatment of women, yet there she was treating April, a woman, like absolute crap.
ReplyDelete