5. Stevie and Eileen’s friendship ends by the end of the book. Should Stevie have ended the relationship or should she have been honest with Eileen about the relationship sooner so Eileen would have had the opportunity to change? Is Eileen capable of changing? Would it have been worth the emotional energy for Stevie to try to change this relationship? What do you think of Eileen? Do you sympathize with her at all?
6. Describe Aunt Janet and her development from the beginning of the book to the end. Do you respect her? Was she a pathetic figure or a strong one? Did she fail as a second mother to Stevie and as a mother to Lance and Polly by not leaving Herbert? Did she fail herself in staying? How so?
7. Stevie’s Grandpa Albert says, “Hardship, honey, builds character. Having struggles in your life…will make you a stronger, more courageous adult. Learning how to find joy in the little things --- the stream that runs through our property, the mountains, art, animals, the weather --- this will set you up for a life of gratefulness and that will give you happiness. People who don’t have to deal with heartache, or don’t allow themselves to reach out to other people who are enduring heartbreak, end up being shallow, superficial, boring people, sweetie, they never truly live, they never get what life’s about, they never become full, compassionate, caring people able to live with wisdom and grace.” Is that true?
8. Stevie’s relationship with Helen was fraught with pain, guilt, anger, blame, sorrow, embarrassment, shame, and hate, but she comes to a sort of peace with her mother by the end of the book. Was this realistic? Will Stevie ever “get over” her childhood?
9. Stevie’s grandparents were in a romantic, enduring love affair with each other. How did this impact Stevie in her childhood and in her adult life? What did Stevie learn from them about life, leadership, love, compassion, heartbreak, and family?
5. Honestly, I hated Eileen. Stevie should have dumped her long before she did, probably even before her surgery. Toxic friendships are the worst! I think Stevie gave her ample opportunity to change, but Eileen was just so bitter, angry and RUDE that there was little chance of that happening. No, I have zero sympathy for her.
ReplyDelete6. I think it's easy to call Aunt Janet pathetic and pick apart her life for what she didn't do and how she damaged herself and her kids by staying, but we don't know all the psychology behind people like that's decisions to stay in an unhealthy situation. I'm just thrilled she finally got out at the end, and is making steps to becoming a whole new person!
7. I loved the grandparents! I think it is true, although no one is without hardship in their life. But if life is always easy and everything comes without hard work, I think the person does run the risk of becoming superficial and taking things for granted.
8. This is probably really cheesy, but it reminds me of Oprah's definition of forgiveness- accepting that the past could never be anything other than what it was. It doesn't mean what happened with her mother wasn't awful, evil, and cruel, but Stevie won't be able to live a fulfilling life if she can't accept it for what it was. No, she will never "get over" her childhood, but she can use those experiences to make a better life for herself in the future.
9. Her grandparents were her saving grace. Without them, she would have no reference or example to what a functional relationship is supposed to look like. I think she will have a great future with Jake because of their example.
5. I agree with Elizabeth.
ReplyDelete6. Aunt Janet evolved throughout the book. While I can't see how she married Herbert at all, especially coming from her parents' great example, I can see how her poor self-esteem led her to believe that she had to stay married to him. She seemed to have her heart in the right place as far as her family. I'm so glad she strengthened and started living a better life. Her character makes me wonder about the author as a person... was this supposed to be symbolic of her own life?
7. I completely agree with Grandpa. The dawn is that much brighter for those of us who have known the night.
5. I too agree with Elizabeth (and Naomi). I hated her too and it made me so sad that Stevie let her treat her that way...I was so glad that she stood up for herself at the end. No one should ever treat another person that way, especially a so called friend.
ReplyDelete6. I felt sorry for Aunt Janet, but also a bit angry that she did not protect the children, but that is easy for me to say bc I don't fear my husband. I can not imagine fearing your other half and being afraid to stand up to them, or voice your own opinion. I am sure she felt trapped. I was very happy when she evolved and went out on her own life, go Aunt Janet!
7. Agree with what has been said.
8. I have a hard time letting go of things, and can not imagine how Stevie can get over her childhood, I think the peace she has found is wonderful and needed to continue with a happy life for herself. The nightmares etc...tortured her every day, and she does need to let go some to move on.
9. Agree with Elizabeth, what a bright spot they were. I was heartbroken for her when they passed on.
Eileen probably will not change until she is happy with herself, poor stevie to have to go through the pain, but there was nothing else she could do..
ReplyDelete6. . Poor Aunt Janet too, I felt sorry for her but I do not think she did a good enough job raising her sister's child..
7. Good quote by the grandfather, and I am sure using that for my daily struggles with being so far away and realizing that by going through this time in my life with my family, will help strength and I will appreciate the small things for when we move back...
8. Well, I think that Stevie did have to find peace with everything that had happened since you can't relive the past and you can only move forward.. A quote I tend to use for myself sometimes when I am feeling down is" You are can either get BITTER or BETTER... " :)
9 I think that Stevie has to learn from any role model or example of love that she encountered.. Any person that she respected and loved could be a role model for her.